As housing costs rise and families rethink how they care for aging loved ones, more people are welcoming Baby Boomer relatives into their homes. Whether you’re living with your parents again or helping your in-laws age in place, this kind of multigenerational setup can be meaningful—and, at times, a little complicated.
Unlike moving in with a college roommate or cohabiting with a romantic partner, sharing space with a much older family member often brings a mix of love, emotional baggage, different values, and daily routines that don’t always sync up. Still, many households are making it work and even thriving.
If you’re navigating life with a Boomer roommate, these eight tips can help you create a home that respects everyone’s needs, boundaries, and comfort.
1. Don’t Skip the Big Conversations
The emotional part of welcoming a parent or older relative into your home often overshadows the practical one, but clarity is kindness. Have an honest conversation about finances, responsibilities, and expectations before the move.
How will bills be divided? What are the rules around guests, quiet hours, or shared spaces? Is this a short-term solution, or are you in it for the long haul?
It might feel awkward, but addressing these questions early will save you from future misunderstandings or resentment. Everyone deserves to feel secure about how this new arrangement works.
2. Set Boundaries That Work Both Ways
Boundaries aren’t about being cold or rigid. They’re about maintaining mutual respect. And in a household with different generations, they’re essential.
Maybe your Boomer roommate wakes up at 5 a.m. and turns on the TV. Maybe you work late and don’t want to chat over breakfast. Maybe they’re used to offering “advice” on your parenting or career—and you’re not asking for it.
Boundaries should be clearly communicated and go both ways. It’s okay to say, “I need privacy after 8 p.m.” or “Please knock before coming into my room.” And it’s equally okay for them to say, “I need quiet time in the afternoons.”
3. Make Sure Everyone Has Their Own Space
No matter how close your family is, living together under one roof doesn’t mean being attached at the hip. Everyone needs some physical and emotional space to retreat and recharge.
If you can, make sure your older family member has a bedroom or designated area that’s fully theirs—not just somewhere to sleep but somewhere to relax, make phone calls, or read without interruption. The same goes for you. Even in a smaller home, a cozy reading chair in the corner or an “off-limits” workspace can make a big difference.
4. Divide Responsibilities Based on Strengths
You don’t have to split chores and tasks 50/50, especially if your Boomer roommate is retired or has physical limitations, but everyone should contribute in a way that feels fair and sustainable.
Maybe they cook dinner a few nights a week while you handle the grocery runs. Maybe you cover utilities while they take on laundry or help with childcare. Let each person lean into what they’re good at (and able to do) rather than forcing a rigid system.
It’s not about creating a scorecard. It’s about sharing the load in a way that honors each other’s energy and time.
5. Respect Each Other’s Social Lives
Your lives may look very different socially. You might have friends over for wine and movie night. They might have their book club on Zoom or attend religious services on weekends. That’s okay.
The key is not to treat each other’s social plans as inconvenient or irrelevant. Instead, support each other’s need for connection outside the home and agree on ground rules so those outside relationships don’t cause tension in shared spaces. A shared calendar or heads-up text can go a long way in helping everyone feel seen and considered.
6. Share Routines, But Not All of Them
One of the surprising joys of multigenerational living is discovering small routines that bring everyone together: Sunday morning pancakes, evening walks, or watching a favorite show. These little rituals can build connection and comfort.
But it’s equally important to maintain independence. You don’t have to eat dinner together every night. You don’t need to explain every outing or errand. It’s okay to live in the same home and still have lives that look different from day to day.
Find a balance that lets you enjoy each other’s company without feeling obligated to do everything together.
7. Talk About Aging, Even If It’s Hard
It can be tempting to tiptoe around the realities of aging, especially if your Boomer roommate is still active and healthy. But things change, and avoiding the topic doesn’t make it easier when challenges arise.
Be proactive. Discuss health care preferences, emergency contacts, legal paperwork, and future plans. These aren’t easy conversations, but they can be loving ones if approached with care and compassion.
If your roles shift in the future, from cohabitants to caregiver and care recipient, it helps to have already laid the groundwork.
8. Focus on Gratitude and Grace
Living with an older family member may bring up old dynamics or test your patience at times. But it can also offer incredible opportunities for bonding, healing, and mutual support.
Try to focus on what’s working instead of what’s frustrating. Extend grace during tense moments. Celebrate the small joys, like shared laughs or helping each other through a tough day. Gratitude has a way of softening the rough edges of daily life.
And remember: not everyone gets the chance to know their parents or older relatives this deeply. That closeness, even when it’s messy, is a gift.
Have you ever lived with an older family member? What helped your household thrive, and what would you do differently next time?
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Riley is an Arizona native with over nine years of writing experience. From personal finance to travel to digital marketing to pop culture, she’s written about everything under the sun. When she’s not writing, she’s spending her time outside, reading, or cuddling with her two corgis.
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