I spent most of my adult life desperately trying to figure out money. I had to. My husband was gambling it away at a rapid pace. So I dutifully went to classes, read books, talked to advisors. Nothing helped.

Then, something miraculous happened. When I began journaling about my frustration, I began to breakthrough my blocks.

As I’d write, I’d hear a familiar voice in my head telling me how stupid I was.  Up until then, I just assumed that voice was right and there was nothing I could do.

But, this time, instead of letting that voice hold sway, as I always did, I decided to get to know it better. I asked the voice where it came from and what it wanted.

Memories from when I was younger began bubbling up. Whenever I asked my parents about money, my father, a financial whiz, just said, “Don’t worry,” and my clueless mother would reply: “I don’t know. Ask your father.”

Naturally, I concluded that managing money was a man’s job and I, a girl, would botch things up badly if I tried to take charge.

As my beloved Course in Miracles pointed out: “If we seek something we’re afraid of, attainment of it won’t be what you really want,”

Suddenly my difficulties made sense. Deep down I didn’t really want to deal with money. My fear of loss was stronger than my desire to learn.

Once I realized the source of my struggles, my resistance abated. I became excited about learning and  life changed dramatically.

I have come to understand, so clearly, that when personal insight is coupled with financial knowledge, a powerful alchemy occurs. Unproductive habits give way to enlightened choices

I’d love to hear what unproductive habits are keeping you from making enlightened choices? Leave me a comment below.