Career advice for an unfair world |

Dear Abby, 

You probably won’t earn as much money as a man who does the same work for most of your career. 

I know this makes you mad. It makes me mad, too. 

This gender pay gap has been a problem in America for decades. Women earned 61 cents for every dollar earned by a man in 1960 – when your grandmothers were children. There has been progress since then. But not enough, and it’s even gone backwards the last couple years. 

I work with a great reporter named Alex (she bought Girl Scout cookies from you years ago). Alex recently dug into some government data on the subject and found we’re likely decades away from pay equality between men and women. It’s unlikely before 2059, to be exact. You’re 12 now, so you’ll be 47 then. You will surely be wildly successful on whatever path you choose.

I share all this because the anger and frustration can be used as fuel for change. And I want you to enter adulthood with open eyes and a chip on your shoulder when it comes to knowing and earning your worth. 

The world might not be fair, but we aren’t powerless. 

Some advice for when you’re older

If one person could fix this they would’ve done it a long time ago. So I don’t want you to put too much pressure on yourself. Your experience in this world will be yours alone, and you should take any advice on what to do about all this with a grain of salt. Even my advice. I am, after all, a white man with all the privilege that comes with it. 

But I am still your dad who loves you and wants what’s best for you. So here’s some advice for how to look out for yourself and be a force for the change we want to see. Some of it is based on my own experience and perspective, but lots of it is based on things smart women and experts have told our team as we’ve reported on this injustice.

Thinking about college 

Your mom and I both went to college and we’re glad we did. We hope you’ll choose this path too, while acknowledging it’s not the only one that leads to success.

College is very expensive, and there’s a good chance you’ll need to borrow money to pursue a degree. Unfortunately, that degree will not guarantee you’ll get the job you want when you graduate. That’s one of the reasons your generation is increasingly skeptical about the value of a college education.

But research still shows a degree will give you an advantage in building wealth. In my experience, how you show up is far more important than where you show up. The best and most expensive college education is not always a better bet than a more affordable college education that offers the right opportunities that excite you. 

We’ll talk more about this in the coming years, so for now just let your imagination roam as you think about what you want to be when you grow up.

Choosing a career path

You’ve talked about wanting to pursue work that builds on your love of science. That’s a great idea. Anything that excites you is worth thinking about as you imagine your future. You might also change your mind over the years, and that’s totally fine. You have plenty of time to figure this out. 

The gap between what women and men earn is different from job to job. And it can be worse in science-related jobs than others. That’s no reason to be deterred, but knowledge is power and knowing what you’re up against will help you overcome adversity.

Lots of women have told us how important your first job is. That’s because the money you earn in your first job can influence how much money you make later in your career. Did you know you can negotiate how much you will be paid before accepting a job? Even your first job? Don’t ever forget it.

Another colleague of mine has talked about how she regrets that she didn’t negotiate the pay she’d receive from her first job. She’s a certified money expert herself, and she points out that women often fall into a permission trap: meaning women wait for permission to ask for more money before taking a job, or a raise, or a better job. My colleague’s name is Hanna, and she wanted me to make sure you know you have full permission (from her, from me, from the world) to stand up for yourself and ask for what you feel you deserve.

Talking about your pay

It can be uncomfortable to talk about how much money you earn. That’s exactly why it’s so important that you do. Talking about money doesn’t come naturally to many people, but the benefit of getting comfortable with it is a better understanding of the value of different types of work.

This means I want you to talk about how much you earn with me, with friends, with family, and even with future coworkers. This is also a good reminder that we could be having even more money conversations at home than we already do, something I’ll try to do my part to keep up with. My smart colleague, Alex, points out that the more we talk about this stuff now, the more comfortable you’ll be talking about it with future managers when you are working. 

One more thing: I believe the best managers in your future will be glad to talk with you about your pay, and what it takes to earn more. They should want you to succeed as much as you want to succeed yourself, and be happy to talk with you about what that success can be worth to you. 

Investing in your future

We haven’t talked enough about investing in the stock market, which we will change. Smart investing is the most reliable way to make sure you have enough money for the life you might want in the future. There’s a book I love that equates wealth to freedom (specifically the freedom to choose how you spend your time). I love that way of thinking about it. In other words, the sooner you start investing, the sooner you’ll have the freedom to choose how you spend your time as an adult.

Women don’t invest as much as men, and are less confident when they do. But here’s the thing: Women are actually better investors than men, according to a study that came out a few years ago. You might not have as much control over how much women earn compared to men, but you will have absolute control over what you do with the money you do earn. Being a smart investor can be one way you overcome the gender pay gap in your own life, at least. 

Be the change we want to see

I hope this advice can be a good place for you to start. You’ll have lots more to figure out on your own as you grow into adulthood. Knowledge is power, and by looking out for yourself and others you can push things in the right direction little by little.  

It can be difficult to see how one person’s actions can help lead to big change. But I believe they can, even if you can’t always tell how. Always remember that you can talk with your mom and me about these things. Nobody wants you to succeed in this world more than we do. 

The future belongs to you, so just do your best (what else would you do?!).

Love, Dad