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The funny thing about office life is that we’ve all worked with someone who always looks incredibly busy.
They’re constantly walking somewhere.
They’re carrying papers.
They’re typing furiously.
They always seem slightly annoyed.
Yet somehow… nobody can explain exactly what they do.
Maybe you’ve worked with one.
Maybe you are one, or would like to become one.
Either way, here are some of the funniest “productivity” tricks people have used over the years to look like the hardest-working person in the building.
1. Walk Everywhere Like the Building Is on Fire
Nothing says “important employee” quite like walking with purpose.
Head up. Eyes forward. Slightly concerned facial expression.
Maybe hold a notebook or coffee for added effect.
People instinctively assume anyone walking quickly must be headed to something important.
Nobody thinks: “Wow, they sure are walking fast to the vending machine.”
Instead they think: “They must have a meeting.” “Something must have gone wrong.” “I shouldn’t stop them.”
That’s the real benefit.
Walking fast doesn’t just make you look busy. It discourages conversations.
No one wants to interrupt someone who looks like they’re solving a company-wide crisis.
Bonus points if you occasionally glance at your watch while walking.
Now you don’t just have somewhere to be.
You’re already late.
2. Carry a Laptop Everywhere
Years ago people carried folders.
Today?
It’s laptops.
A laptop instantly creates the illusion that you’re headed somewhere important.
Maybe you’re presenting quarterly numbers.
Maybe you’re meeting with the CEO.
Maybe you’re just looking for a quieter place to watch YouTube.
Nobody knows.
Even better, occasionally stop in the hallway, open the laptop for five seconds, nod thoughtfully, close it again, and continue walking.
Congratulations.
You’ve just completed what appears to be an extremely important mobile productivity session.
As an added bonus, carrying your laptop also gives you a perfectly reasonable excuse for disappearing from your desk for extended periods.
If someone asks where you’ve been?
“I’ve been working in another conference room.”
Technically, they never asked which conference room.
3. Keep an Open Spreadsheet at All Times
Nothing screams productivity quite like Excel.
Even people who have absolutely no idea what’s happening on the screen immediately assume spreadsheets equal serious work.
The best part?
It doesn’t even have to be your spreadsheet.
Rows. Columns. Random numbers. Maybe a colorful chart.
That’s all most people need to see.
If someone walks by, lean toward the monitor and squint slightly.
Click a few cells. Type a couple of numbers. Delete them. Type them again.
Throw in an occasional frustrated sigh.
Now it looks like you’re solving a problem only a handful of people in the company could possibly understand.
Nobody questions the spreadsheet person.
They’re too busy trying to remember how to freeze panes.
4. Email Yourself
This might be the easiest trick on the list.
Have nothing to do?
Send yourself an email.
Seriously.
Need to remember something for later? Email yourself.
Interesting article? Email yourself.
Grocery list? Email yourself.
Vacation idea? Email yourself.
From across the office, it simply looks like you’re buried in correspondence.
If anyone walks by, they’ll see Outlook open, messages flying back and forth, and plenty of typing.
They don’t know every email is going to…you.
An added benefit is that you’ll actually remember things later.
So unlike many of the items on this list, this one accidentally becomes productive.
It’s multitasking at its finest.
5. Fake a Windows Update
This may be the greatest office prank of the modern era.
There are websites that display incredibly realistic fake Windows update screens.
Open one.
Hit full screen.
Walk away.
To everyone passing by, it looks like your computer has decided today is the perfect day to install critical updates.
Again.
You aren’t slacking. You’re a victim.
What can you do?
IT has betrayed you.
Just be careful with this one.
Leave it running for twenty minutes and people will sympathize.
Leave it running for three hours and someone from IT may actually stop by to “help.”
Then you’ll have some explaining to do.
6. Block Off “Focus Time” on Your Calendar
Calendars have become modern force fields.
Nobody wants to schedule over someone’s calendar block.
Especially one labeled:
Deep Work. Strategic Planning. Quarterly Review.
Or everyone’s favorite:
Focus Time.
The beauty is that nobody knows what you’re focusing on.
Maybe you’re finishing an important proposal.
Maybe you’re deciding what to order for dinner.
Either way, your calendar says you’re busy.
And calendars never lie.
Well…Usually.
Just don’t get greedy.
Blocking every afternoon for “Strategic Alignment” tends to raise questions.
7. Keep Your Teams or Slack Status on Busy
The little red dot has become the digital equivalent of a closed office door.
People see it and immediately think: “They’re tied up.”
Whether you’re actually working…
Watching a webinar…
Reading the news…
Or trying to beat today’s Wordle…
Nobody knows.
Busy is busy.
Some people even schedule recurring calendar appointments simply to keep their status red all afternoon.
It’s one of those office tricks that’s so common it almost feels official.
The funniest part?
Half the office is probably doing the exact same thing.
8. Wear Headphones All Day
Headphones have become magical.
The second you put them on, people assume one of two things:
You’re on an important meeting.
Or you’re concentrating so intensely that interrupting you would jeopardize the company’s future.
In reality?
You might be listening to:
- classic rock
- a true crime podcast
- baseball highlights
- ocean sounds
- absolutely nothing
Some people don’t even plug them in.
The headphones are simply a universal symbol that says: “Please pretend I’m busy.”
It works surprisingly well.
Most coworkers would rather send an email than interrupt someone wearing headphones.
Which means fewer interruptions…
And more time to…listen to another podcast.
9. Master the Concerned Face
Facial expressions are incredibly underrated.
Someone smiling at their desk? Probably not that busy.
Someone laughing? Definitely slacking.
But someone staring intensely at the monitor with one eyebrow raised?
Now we’re talking.
Occasionally rub your forehead.
Lean back in your chair. Cross your arms. Squint at the screen. Shake your head slowly.
Maybe whisper: “That can’t be right…”
Nobody knows what you’re looking at.
But it clearly isn’t good.
The concerned face has one major advantage.
People hesitate to interrupt someone who appears to be solving a complicated problem.
Especially if they think that problem might eventually become their problem.
10. Carry Random Papers
This trick has survived decades for one simple reason.
It works.
Nobody questions someone carrying papers.
The papers don’t even have to be important.
Print yesterday’s meeting agenda. An old report. A restaurant menu. A blank spreadsheet.
From ten feet away, paper is paper.
Now walk briskly through the office.
Stop outside someone’s door.
Look down at the pages.
Nod thoughtfully.
Keep walking.
Congratulations.
You’ve just completed what appeared to be a critical business mission.
Extra points if you occasionally shuffle the papers while walking.
For reasons no one fully understands, that somehow makes the mission look even more urgent.
11. Become the Master of Corporate Buzzwords
Every office has that one person who can talk for five minutes without actually saying anything.
“We’re just trying to increase cross-functional collaboration while aligning deliverables with our strategic objectives.”
What does that mean?
Nobody knows.
But it sounds incredibly important.
Corporate buzzwords are the camouflage of the modern workplace.
Instead of saying: “I’m working on it.”
Try: “I’m circling back with the stakeholders before we finalize next steps.”
Or: “We’re waiting for alignment before moving forward.”
Better yet: “I’m trying to avoid creating unnecessary redundancies.”
Even if your coworkers have no clue what you just said, they’ll usually nod and walk away.
Because nobody wants to admit they didn’t understand the sentence either.
12. “I’m Just Waiting on Someone”
This may be the greatest excuse ever invented.
Boss asks how the project is going?
“I’m just waiting on accounting.”
Coworker asks why the report isn’t finished?
“Legal still has it.”
Someone wonders why you haven’t submitted your proposal?
“I’m waiting on marketing.”
The beauty of this strategy is that almost every project really does involve another department.
Waiting happens.
Sometimes a lot.
And unless someone immediately calls Accounting to verify your story, the conversation usually ends right there.
Just don’t blame the same department every single time.
Eventually Accounting might start wondering why they’re responsible for everything.
13. Walk Into Meetings You Weren’t Invited To
This one requires confidence.
Walk into a conference room carrying your laptop or a notebook.
Sit down.
Nod occasionally.
Take a few notes.
If someone asks whether you’re supposed to be there, simply say: “I thought this was the operations meeting.”
Apologize politely.
Gather your things.
Leave.
You’ll look slightly embarrassed.
Everyone else will think you’re incredibly busy because apparently you have so many meetings you can’t even keep them straight.
Of course, if nobody questions you…
Congratulations.
You just got free coffee and donuts.
14. Type Like You’re Defusing a Bomb
Timing is everything.
The office may be completely quiet.
Then you hear footsteps.
Suddenly…Your keyboard becomes the fastest keyboard in human history.
Click. Click-click-click. Enter. Backspace. Mouse. Click. Scroll. Type.
Repeat.
It doesn’t matter what you’re typing.
You could be writing a grocery list.
Searching vacation rentals.
Looking up the score of last night’s game.
From a distance, all anyone sees is someone absolutely crushing productivity.
For extra realism, occasionally stop typing and stare intensely at the monitor before diving back in like you’ve just solved a major problem.
15. Keep Way Too Many Browser Tabs Open
Some people have three browser tabs.
Others have forty-seven.
Guess which person looks busier?
A monitor filled with:
- spreadsheets
- Teams
- project management software
- dashboards
- PDFs
- reports
creates the illusion that you’re managing multiple critical projects simultaneously.
Meanwhile…
Three of those tabs might be fantasy football.
Two are YouTube.
One is Amazon.
And another has been open since last Tuesday because you’re still trying to decide whether to buy a new coffee maker.
Nobody walking past your desk knows the difference.
All they see is organized chaos.
16. Take the Long Way Everywhere
Need to refill your water bottle?
Excellent.
Instead of taking the direct route…Take the scenic route.
Walk past accounting.
Loop through marketing.
Wave at someone in HR.
Peek into the break room.
By the time you return, you’ve covered half the building.
To anyone watching, it looks like you’ve spent the last fifteen minutes solving important problems across multiple departments.
In reality?
You were getting ice.
Office veterans know this trick well.
Sometimes the longest route isn’t about avoiding work.
It’s about avoiding getting assigned more work.
17. Perfect the Fake Phone Call
No office survival guide would be complete without this classic.
Grab your phone.
Walk with purpose.
Occasionally nod.
Every so often say things like: “Absolutely.” “That works.” “I’ll send that over.” “I’ll follow up after lunch.”
The trick isn’t sounding dramatic.
It’s sounding incredibly ordinary.
Real business calls are surprisingly boring.
If you really want to sell the performance, stop walking every now and then and jot something down in a notebook.
Now it looks like you’re discussing quarterly projections instead of wondering what’s for dinner.
Just make sure your phone screen isn’t obviously showing Spotify.
18. Recruit an Office Buddy
Every workplace has two people standing in a hallway staring at something.
Nobody knows what they’re looking at.
But it must be important.
Grab a coworker.
Stand near a whiteboard.
Point occasionally.
Nod thoughtfully.
Every now and then say: “Hmm…” “I hadn’t thought of that.” “Interesting.”
If someone walks by, quickly gesture toward a chart or document.
It instantly transforms a casual conversation into what appears to be a high-level strategic planning session.
The best part?
Neither of you actually has to be discussing work.
19. Randomly Sigh at Your Computer
Nothing says “overworked” quite like an exhausted sigh.
Not an exaggerated sigh.
Just enough for nearby coworkers to hear.
Maybe rub your temples.
Lean back in your chair.
Take off your glasses—even if you don’t wear glasses, maybe don’t try that one.
Then return to typing.
The sigh tells everyone: “This project is testing me.”
In reality?
Maybe Outlook froze.
Maybe Excel crashed.
Or maybe you’re trying to remember your Netflix password.
The mystery only makes it more convincing.
20. Become Impossible to Find
Have you ever noticed that the busiest people are somehow never at their desks?
They’re: “in another meeting.” “working with another department.” “downstairs.” “checking on something.” “helping a client.”
Nobody really knows where they are.
And somehow…
Nobody questions it.
Obviously, don’t disappear for hours every day.
That’s less “busy employee” and more “missing person.”
But occasionally working from a conference room, another floor, or a quiet corner of the building can create the impression that your responsibilities take you all over the office.
It’s amazing how productive someone appears when nobody can quite figure out where they are.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve made it this far, you’ve probably recognized at least a few coworkers on this list.
Maybe the fast walker.
Maybe the spreadsheet wizard.
Maybe the person who’s permanently “waiting on someone.”
Or maybe the employee who somehow spends half the day wearing a headset while never actually speaking.
The truth is that nearly every workplace develops its own unwritten culture around looking busy.
Sometimes people really are swamped.
Other times they’re simply trying to avoid interruptions long enough to finish their work.
And occasionally…
They’re just trying to make it until 5 o’clock.
Of course, the easiest way to look productive is to actually be productive.
But where’s the fun in writing an article about that?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a strategic cross-functional alignment meeting to attend.
At least that’s what my calendar says.
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